Before you Think about a Serious Relationship Read This
You see them walking in the park at lunch and you think, “Wow.” You start dating and think they’re the best but are they really? Or are they just showing you what they think will interest you? There’s no way to know – at least not right away – and that is one of the most difficult things about starting a new relationship. And there’s another side of the coin to consider: Are you showing them your true self? A serious relationship requires a little more digging.
I’m going to bring back an oldie but goodie. The Temptations made a song titled ‘Beauty’s only skin deep’. That sentence still holds true. Even though the way someone looks can be enticing, they will fade. Will you like him when he starts to get wrinkles or when she stops working out? Will you like him when he’s relaxing at home on the weekend instead of out at a party, dinner, or a club? Will she be as appealing in her sweats as she is in her little black dress? And better yet, will you like each other when there’s nothing else to do but talk?
Before you fall for what’s pretty, here are 3 things you should learn about your love interest before you get serious:
Are they available?
Sure, you need to know if they are seeing someone else but that’s not what this is about. Finding out if they are emotionally available is equally important. Getting out of a relationship can be difficult and while it is healthy for people to want to move on, they may not be ready to, even after some time has passed. Be aware of where they are emotionally before getting serious. Being the other person in a rebound relationship is no fun at all.
How do they handle money?
Money is a big deal. We’d like to minimize it and think that it isn’t as important as it is, but, let’s be honest, there’s no way that money can be ignored. Studies show that money is one of the major issues that married couples argue about. It’s more than just who picks up the tab for dinner – it’s about saving for your retirement and investing in your future.
Are they working?
The person you decide to get serious with should be working – it’s that simple. There are a lot of reasons that they should have a job, not the least of which is to maintain a healthy sense of self. They don’t’ have to be working at their dream job just yet – we all take some time to carve out our niche in life – but it needs to be a job that can satisfy their bills and leave a little extra on the side for going out on the weekend.
Knowing as much as you can about a person before deciding to get into a serious relationship is an important part of your evolution as a couple. While you can never know everything there is to know about a person, this early legwork will save you a great deal of stress later on.
