[column size=”1/2″][adrotate banner=”8″][/column][column size=”1/2″]Sexy Time? We have all heard the suggestions to pencil in bedroom time with your sweetie, especially in couples who’ve been together for a while and whose lives have become an endlessly choreographed dance of decidedly unsexy activity. If, like many of us, you’ve attempted to schedule playtime and found that to be a tremendously inefficient way to get down and dirty, allow me to renew your hope and guide you towards a more enjoyable ‘afternoon delight’.[/column]
For Sexy Time Plan Intimacy, Not Activity
Never plan sex. Doing so can steal the intimacy and enjoyment from your sexual activity. Instead, plan intimacy. When you can squeeze in the alone time, the plan should be focused, sexually charged intimacy. Don’t plan the direction, just the intent. Neck like teenagers in the backseat of the car on a dark road, learn to deliver on an erotic massage, give your partner a strip tease, or even just cuddle naked for an hour. When you plan intimacy instead of intercourse, the sex you do have will be more satisfying.
Reigniting passions that have reduced to a slow, burning ember can be a tricky order. Playing with fire, just a little, can give the flames the energy they need to roar again. To do that safely within the confines of your existing relationship, you need to waltz against the adjustable lines of proper behavior. Did your partner speed through 50 Shades, but you’ve never picked up a silk scarf with devious intent in your life? Now might be a great time to try, with proper discussion and some ground rules applied beforehand so your steamy adventure doesn’t result in a disaster. Roleplay is a great way to explore something new and rekindle the fires of passion.
Kill Your Expectations
The aspect of scheduled intimacy that tends to leave people most disappointed and unsatisfied is failing to achieve their planned expectations. Destroy them. Crush any preconceived notion of what you’ll get out of the time you plan together. Instead, simply look forward to the fulfillment of time spent focused on your beloved. Enjoy the moments of playfulness and sensuality and be content with whatever intimacy happens during that time. Finishing scheduled playtime without climaxing can build anticipation for the next available moments of free time.
Kiss! Talk! Communication is critical for coaxing the most enjoyment out of sensual time spent together. Talk about your desires and curiosities. Tell your partner when they look particularly edible. Ask for things you want to see or attempt. Gently guide your partner when they are trying something new: A massage is greatly improved when the masseuse understands how much pressure you want and where. After your time is spent, talk about what worked and what fell flat. It’s okay to cross stuff off you list once tried and equally okay to request, “I’ll have some more of that! Yes, please!” Remember, the goal is to enjoy one another. Knowing what’s enjoyable is step one to healthy communication.