Relationships are tricky things in life that nearly everyone wants to be a part of. Early on, during the honeymoon phase, when you two are still getting to know one another, it can be easy to overlook things that you might find glaringly obvious during later stages. If you find yourself wondering whether or not a relationship is going to work out, chances are there is something bothering you that is triggering these feelings and you know that the relationship is heading down the wrong path. In Part 1 we discussed several “red flags” on how to know, here are a few more to look out for!
Doubts Don’t Necessarily Mean Doom
Just because you are having doubts, though, doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is destined for break up. There are a few things to keep in mind that can help you make a final decision on just which direction — reconciliation with a commitment to work on your problems and grow the relationship or to scrap it altogether — is best for you.
Problem Behaviors: Is it New or an Established Personality Trait?
Take a hard look at the problem issues in the relationship. If it is something new that has cropped up fairly recently, perhaps your partner is going through some rough times that have manifested itself in this problem behavior. When two people are in a relationship, it is natural to think that you can tell each other anything that is bothering you or causing you stress. Some people, though, do not want to worry their partners or have a hard time articulating exactly what the problem is, so they try to avoid talking about it with them. This can result in other unwanted behaviors such as being distant, for example, or having a shorter fuse than normal.
Not Being Able to Communicate
Communication is key within a relationship if it is to flourish for any length of time. While there might be some instances in which communication takes a backseat to other events in life — see above, for example — both partners still need to be able to talk about issues. This can be as simple as saying something along the lines of your partner telling you thathe or she is not ready to talk freely about it since they are still processing things. While this has not directly addressed the issue, it at least helps to keeps the lines of communication open and signals a willingness to talk about it once they are ready to do so.
Avoidance is a Problem
Avoidance is simply a way to skirt an issue without having to make a decision about it. Whether your partner is avoiding you completely or putting off an issue that you keep wanting to address, throwing up those constant barriers in between the two of you foretells the end of your relationship. The longer this avoidance lasts, the more detrimental it is likely to be to the longevity of the relationship. It’s important, though, to make the distinction between temporary avoidance and behavior that is more long term.
In Part 3 we will discuss strategies on dealing with some of these problems in a straightforward and helpful way.
