You’re heady with excitement! You met a fantastic man or woman, and are excited about the possibilities. The best thing is the feelings seem to be mutual! There are a few signs, though, that can clue you into the fact that this relationship might not be the one you hoped for. Below are tips to know how to know when it’s not going to work.
You Can’t Talk
Beyond the basics of talking about your day, being able to talk about anything that comes to mind is crucial to forging a relationship. If you constantly find yourself trying to start conversations with interesting openers only to have them fizzle out after a few sentences, you might want to reconsider your future with this person.
You Make All the Plans
A new relationship is an exciting time in your life, and you want to show the other person all your favorite activities and haunts. Making the plans for when you two go out should be a two-way street, though. Think back about the last few times you saw each other. Who suggested going out? Who decided where to go and what you would do? Realizing that you are the one who is doing most — or even all — the planning is a good sign that the level of interest is not the same in the relationship.
You Cannot Disagree Constructively
Disagreements are going to happen. Even in the newest relationships, you’ll run into things like his favorite band is one that you absolutely hate or your favorite perfume reminds him of dead flowers. If you two cannot bring up your preferences without tearing the other person down, it is not a good sign for the longevity of the relationship. Look at it this way, why would you want to be with someone who attacks you verbally for your taste in music or accessories?
Your Future Plans Don’t Dovetail
Talking about a future together without the other person joining in could mean different things. It could mean that they are not at that stage in the relationship yet. More likely, though, it means that they simply have not thought of a future with you. Along the same lines is when your new romantic interest talks about doing something in the future that is so off base from what you imagined your future would hold that there is no way for the two plans to ever meet. If you want to go hiking through the Australian Outback and his idea of a future is to obtain a job on Wall Street, it could be difficult to make these parallel universes connect — ever!
You Can’t Accept Their Quirks or Vice Versus
No one is a cookie-cutter outline of the perfect person so you’ll each have your own quirks and mannerisms that are unique. If you find yourself gritting your teeth each time one of these quirks comes out while you are with the other person, chances are your relationship will end pretty quickly. The same goes for if you are belittled for your personality traits that are just part of being you.
